Once You Know Why

Have you ever been struggling with a problem, beating yourself up over it? "Why can't I get in shape? What's wrong with me? Why can't I stop eating sweets? Why can't I stop overspending? Why do I always end up in an argument with my partner?" And you just keep making yourself wrong, and you keep doing it, and you keep being miserable. I know I have. And then something changes. An insight arrives. A deep shift within. And suddenly you understand why you did that. At a deep level. And all that's left is compassion. Compassion for yourself. For the part of you that's wounded, that needs this behavior for protection. The part of you that survived all the difficult times, all the pain. Maybe the problem changes. Maybe it doesn't. But instead of beating yourself up, you now feel compassion for yourself, because you understand why. In my experience, that's how it always goes. It's worth remembering when you're busy beating yourself up: Try compassion instead. It's much more warranted. Much more helpful.