Then at the end of 2017, another pivotal moment happened.
Nomi and I started working with Body-SDS founder Bengt Valentino Andersen 1-on-1 (or, I guess, 1-on-2) for both business, health, and personal life. Bengt is the best damn therapist, teacher, and knower of human beings on the planet.
At this particular session, he challenged me on my masculinity. He said "look, Calvin, you're 80% in your feminine, and your masculine is only 20% developed. We've got to flip that around so you're living primarily from your masculine."
I fought him a bit. Started defending myself. But he made me realize that he was right. And that developing my masculine side was key to solving every single challenge that I was facing in my life—business, health, relationships, creativity, and my ability to manifest my purpose.
Wow.
So I made it my mission to grow that side of me. It involved exercising 8 hours a week (#8hoursaweek), and it involved reconnecting with my inner boy, and helping him grow up to be a healthy man, by being the kind of father for him that he needed, and that he didn't have growing up.
Immediately things started shifting dramatically. This was the key piece I'd been missing for so long. As my masculine side started developing, everything in my life started clicking into place. Things went from being a struggle to actually working.
Mine is a story of identity. Of discovering who I truly am, and becoming that person.
It's been hard work, but it's also been deeply rewarding. I've gone from struggling with business, health, relationships, creativity, and purpose, to having all of those areas working in perfect synchrony.
I've gone from being an irritable somewhat mean-spirited soy boy to being a strong, proud, healthy man.
I've gone from being this Gordian knot of mental, emotional, and physical baggage to being pretty darn clear and fired up.
I've gone from smoking a pack a day, drinking quite a lot, eating like crap, and never working out, to having six-pack abs, a body I'm proud to see in the mirror, and having more energy and stamina than ever.
I've gone from being bankrupt to having four businesses making millions of dollars, and a team of 35 people.
I'm here to tell you that you can do the same.
Wherever you are today, if you have the determination and perseverance, you can do the same.
I'm not going to tell you it's going to be easy. This shit is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But you can absolutely do it if you want it bad enough. I did!
The first step is stop being a victim, deciding what you want, and then taking the first step towards creating that. One final note. How did I end up being named Calvin? I'll tell you.
During the many years that I was struggling, I kept asking myself:
"Do I really have what it takes? Maybe I should just give up, stop chasing my dreams, get a regular well-paying job, and numb out with some more pasta and wine."
There was one quote that kept me going, that kept me believing in myself, and it was this:
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
– former US President, Calvin Coolidge
If he believed this, and he ended up becoming President of the United States, then surely I could achieve what I dreamt of, if only I was persistent and determined enough. So I kept going, no matter what.
I was so inspired and moved by this quote, that when I changed my name in 2012, I took Calvin Coolidge's first name.
He died 41 years before I was born, so obviously we never met, at least not in this lifetime, but I will forever be grateful that he took the time to articulate this thought, and did it so well that it carried all the way to me, all the way over in Denmark, many years later.
I'm not sure I'd be where and who I am today if it wasn't for this.
Persistence and determination are omnipotent. What do you want? And who do you want to become?