Taking Time to Be

I can't stress enough the importance of taking some time away from doing mode and just be.

Chill. Relax. Go explore your city. Play with your kid or your dog or some new toys. Cook. Sleep. Go for a run. Think. Read. Have deep conversation. Whatever you fancy, as long as it's easy and unforced and follows your flow of the moment.

I've started to block off each Tuesday as meeting-free days. I will book nothing in my calendar on Tuesdays. Last week my wife and I took both Monday and Tuesday completely off, for an extra long weekend. We watched movies in bed in the middle of the day. We went for long walks. We cooked a lot—both meals and cakes—something I haven't really done much of all summer.

And without our trying at all, several breakthroughs just happened. Both of the inner type, and the outer, particularly financial type.

We all have programming that runs us. And a lot of it is about doing.

I tend to not feel worthy unless I'm busy doing stuff—answering emails, coding, writing, checking things off a to-do list.

That sort of pattern will keep you running around in loops trying desperately to avoid that threatening feeling of unworthiness. If you don't have any work-related tasks in front of you, you'll make it about the laundry, the shopping, the cooking, the kids, the dog, the cleaning, the exercise.

What's really needed is that you open yourself up to that feeling of unworthiness. Invite it in. Give it a hug. Realize that it's just a wounded part of you that needs to be seen and be loved. It's nothing dangerous. It's not the truth that you are unworthy.

This is the way it is with all of our compulsions. They just need an inner hug, a bit of love and attention from us. Then they'll leave us alone, then we're free.