Love the unlovable
In my session with Gay Hendricks last week, he told me to go on a mission to find all of the unlovable parts of myself and others, and love them anyway. I'm finding ample opportunity to practice that every day. Right now, there's a guy continually squishing an empty water bottle, making an annoying loud crackling sound. Here's to loving him for doing it, and loving me for being endlessly annoyed with him for it.
It's a very interesting process to go through. It really is. It's not about denying the feelings I'm feeling or the experiences I'm having in any way. It's about completely changing my reaction to those feelings and experiences. I really can find that place in me that can love him for doing it. I certainly can find it in me to love myself for feeling that way.
I've been around this block before, but something about hearing it direct from Gay to me, in his voice, in his inimitable way, him being a generation older than me and male, so I could make believe he was my father for a moment there, was very powerful. It gave me permission to really do this, really mean it, not just as a "that's a fun little thing to do for a while, but we all know there's the hard cold reality underneath this, and this is just some silly feel-good stuff we do on top" like I used to, but really really mean it. It's very powerful.
Find the unlovable inside and outside of yourself and love it anyway. Have at it!