I just realized (and not for the first time) that I have a story going on inside my head that I can't be happy right now, because then I'd be tacitly agreeing with or accepting everything in my life as it currently is. And that would be a catastrophe, because I'm not where I want to or need to be, and so if I accepted it, it'd never change.

Oh, and if I were to be happy, I'd also be agreeing with and accepting everything my wife does, including being disorganized and silly and filling the dishwasher the wrong way, and that's simply unacceptable, and so at the very least I have to be unhappy, just to teach her a lesson.

Yes, I know this is ridiculous and silly. But the voices in my head are real. You may think I'm a raving nutcase, and that I should be locked behind bars.

But my guess is that if you're honest with yourself (I promise I won't tell anyone!), you might see something similar in yourself.

We're so well trained at hating ourselves (and others) for stuff, it hardly even registers.

The thing is, the hating is a content-free mechanism. Each time circumstances change for the better, the hate just raises the bar. There's no way to win that game.

The only way out is to realize that the hating doesn't do any good. It doesn't actually have your best interests at heart.

Give the part of you that has these thoughts a big loving hug, and then get on with your life, unberturbed.


Mark Aufflick

Dishwasher stacking is the 21st century equivalent of squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle :)
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Lars Pind

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