Sensing

I just had a quite special experience. For years, I've had some problems with my voice getting strained because of tension in my neck and throat. I know there's a psychological reason for this, so today I went to see someone who specializes in precisely this intersection between voice and psychology. And what she had me do was basically to just sense - really pay attention to - what's going on in that area. I closed my eyes and just sat and paid really close attention. No judgment, no wanting things to be different, just loving and curious attention. It was magnificent. It was a drama, a theater, a spectacle, a show. It was warm and pleasing and really entertaining in a weird way. I would rather do this than watch any movie. I've done meditation before, but not in this way. I can see how it's not just useful but actually fun, to just watch and pay attention and be curious like this. The trick is to pay attention to all the little sensations in the body. To pay attention to the spot that's most "noisy" right now, like it's tense or in pain or something. And then "breathe through it", so to speak. Don't worry if it doesn't make sense, just do it anyway. Your body knows how. I think the problem is that most of us in this western world aren't really paying attention to whatever's going on in our bodies. We're sort-of cut off at the neck, at some level. And trying to meditate like that is mind-numbingly boring. Which I guess is the point. I'm far from an expert on meditating. But what I experienced today was that things shifted and moved around and changed all the time, and it was all just very fascinating. My therapist today didn't do much at all. Just asked a few questions. But most importantly, she provided the space, the place where I could focus all of my attention on what's going on inside of me in a loving, patient and non-judging way. I'm going to try this at home. Hopefully it'll become a habit. Go try it for yourself! Now :)