More customer service fun

Received this one from fitbit this morning:

Let me translate:

Hi Calvin,

Thank you very much for getting back with us and providing us with the information requested. Your help through this process is highly appreciated.

Translation: Okay, we feel a tiny bit bad for making you jump through all these hoops to get to this point.

Your happiness and satisfaction remains to be our number one goal and priority. We understand that the situation encountered with your Aria scale is not ideal. Also, we appreciate all your efforts while trying to get your Aria scale working properly without a positive outcome.

Translation: Blah blah blah...

After reviewing our system with the information you provide us, we found that the original date of your Fitbit Aria was October 21, 2013 taking in mind this is currently out of our limited warranty period.

 How much easier would it have been for everybody if you'd checked this first? I know the machine's broken. I already had it replaced once. Clearly it's not a very good product.

Please note that we do not have a repair center nor any of our retailers are certified to repair any Fitbit device; thus, we do not produce replacement parts. At Fitbit we are committed to creating great experiences that inspire and empower people to live healthier, more active lives. 

 Translation: You're SOL. Throw it in the trash. Oh, and blah blah blah... 

If you would like to purchase a new scale, you can do so at https://www.fitbit.com/store or https://www.fitbit.com/retailers

 Why would I want to buy anything else from you guys when you couldn't get this one to work?

Please let us know if you have any other question. We'll be more than happy to assist you.

Sincerely,

(name redacted) and the Fitbit Team

Translation: Oh, and yeah, we know we suck and we're going down pretty fast. The Apple Watch killed us. Sorry, last person turns off the lights, kthxbye!

My favorite part is "Your machine's broken, it's out of warranty, and there's no way to get it fixed. And then, literally in the same paragraph, we're "committed to creating great experiences that inspire and empower people to live healthier, more active lives." What?? This is not how humans communicate with each other.

Oh, well.

Hey, maybe life without a scale is actually better. I'm going to try that for a while.