Bodily guilt

As long as I can remember I've had guilt associated with my body. I hardly think I'm alone in that. When I was a kid I was always ridiculed for being too fat. I've always been embarrassed when I ate sweets and candy. I've felt ashamed when I drank alcohol, in particular if I was hung over the next day. I've felt guilt over sleeping too late, being lazy, being weak, you name it.

Having spent 5 months in India getting up at 3.30 and practicing yoga for 90 minutes 6 days a week while adhering to a vegetarian diet (no eggs, no fish, though not vegan), and absolutely zero alcohol (though lots of sugar - it's India!), has changed a lot about that.

Not that those voices don't come up anymore, because they do. But now I can dismiss them much more easily. I'm like, "hey, if that's not enough for you, little voice in my head, then I'm not sure I'm willing to go along with you."

I do want to be healthy. I do want to have routines that are good for me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And to me, that involves the occasional glass of wine, salsicce, pasta, dessert, and whatever else magnificent that life has to offer. If that pisses off that little voice in my head, so be it.

No ambition

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