On becoming a Swami

Two days ago, my awe-inspiring wife sensed into my essence and came back with her findings. There were many, but the big one was this: I have not been put in this world to become a great entrepreneur, but to become a spiritual teacher, a master, a guru, a swami.

What a relief. Truth be told, I could care less about the successful entrepreneur part. I only want to do it so I can cross it off my list, prove my worth, and then have a platform to devote myself to guiding people back home to themselves.

Funny story: I had this realization in 2007 on a beach in India. I guess sometimes old programming takes a while to dissolve.

So just now I looked up on the internet "What is a swami", just to know what the hell I'm talking about here, and I found a great link. Towards the bottom is a short essay titled "What is Renunciation?", which starts thusly:

Renunciation is the final forgetting of "I" and "mine". It is that mode of thought and experience in which the entire creation becomes as oneself. One who has taken vows of renunciation, and thereby becmoe a swami, considers himself a member of every family on earth, with their physical and spiritual welfare as his prime concern.

So it's clear what the intent of this is: That a swami has grown out of focusing on his own little family and focuses on the welfare of all of humankind. At some level, that comes really natural to me, but reading this also brings up all of my beliefs and fears, and it's quite telling:

"Shit, does that mean I'll have to let go of the car? Does that mean I'm going to be poor? Can't I live in a nice place? Can I no longer travel to see my kids?"

Of course, I can be a swami and have a car and a house and see my kids on another continent. But it's clear where my fear lies, and this is the exact same fear that has kept me out of the "swami role" for the past 5 years. The fear that if I don't focus on "business" I won't have my needs met, that I can't be "spiritual" and "rich" at the same time.

Btw, I'm writing this while sitting at Swami's Café in Encinitas, which happens to be my favorite hangout spot. Funny that.