Why people don't follow your advice

I’ve been in the coaching and advice business for 3 years now, and one consistent challenge has always been the people who pay you for advice and then don’t follow through with it.

I have myself bought lots of advice that I never acted on.

Why?

Sometimes it’s simply because it’s not relevant to where you’re at, or it doesn’t fit your style. You buy an online course or a seminar, there’s 3 things you can use, you take them, and you move on. If you got your worth, then that’s fine.

But sometimes there are deeper-lying issues that prevent people from acting.

Most of the time there will be some limited amount of “coaching” involved in these products - talking to common fears of self-promotion, sales calls, commitment, fear of rejection, and so on. But it’s quite superficial, and often there will be some deep unconscious issues that need to be addressed before that person is able to move to the next level.

I know, because I’m one of those people. The things that I’ve struggled with have not been from lack of hard work, brains, follow-through, or knowledge. They have been because I have had no idea who I really was. Because of a deep-seated beliefs that whatever I really were, I had to be something else. Because of very deep personal and collective fears of showing my true self. Because of a deeply rooted pattern to look to outside authorities for answers. And many more.

These were not issues that could be dealt with by mere intellectual insight. And just bringing conscious awareness to them wasn’t enough, either. They required a complete shake-up, breaking out of the structures (like a marriage) that held me in that old place. It won’t be as radical for everyone, but it probably will for some.

It pains me when I can see in people’s eyes that they just know what they’re called to do, they can see it clearly before them, and they ache to go do it, yet they somehow can’t get it out there. They keep fumbling, doubting, hesitating. 

The question of what it really takes to get such a person to that point where they’re truly themselves, they’re out there, they’re touching people’s lives in whatever way they desire to do so, they’re happy, in flow, making money doing it, is what’s been driving me for these past several years.

And I think I’m actually at a point where I feel confident I know what it takes, and I can deliver it. Especially with the help of my partner, Cecillia, whose abilities as a body therapist are magical. She covers a range that I don’t, but which is crucial to unlocking some of the deepest contractions.

It’s not a quick fix. It takes time. “Slow is fast”, as my teacher says. It took years and years to build up these patterns and defenses that keep you imprisoned, you should expect it to take some time to undo the damage. But it’s well worth it, in the end.

After all, if it’s your calling, what’s the alternative?

You’ve got to pursue it, or die trying.

What are your thoughts and experiences with this? Have you bought advice and not followed? Have you sold advice and your customers didn’t follow? What did you do?