The energy you're operating from

I remember many years ago, a friend of mine asked me for tips and tricks for when I go down on a woman. Not sure if he realized it’s one of my specialties, but anyway. Ahem … :)

I’m pretty sure the answer I gave him was deeply unsatisfying to him.

It was: “You just have to sense her, really feel into her, and do what you feel called to do.”

And I know why that’s a really annoying answer to get, but it’s the best I can give.

And it’s not that I want this to turn into a sex column (even though I’m sure I could think of many things to say on the topic, and I think there are surprisingly strong ties between entrepreneurship and gender relations and sex), but there’s a larger point here:

The energy you’re operating from is so much more important than whatever specific actions you take.

I’m sure we’ve all had the experience that the same words can have dramatically different interpretations depending on the way they’re said.

“I love you” said with deep passion and sensuality vs. “I love you” said at the end of a really annoying phone conversation where it’s very obvious that in this moment, he actually hates you.

And I think this goes for so many more situations than we’re aware of.

There’s a book out there called Honest Signals, which I haven’t read, to be honest, but it sounds really intriguing. If I’m not mistaken, it’s about how we humans can’t be fooled easily. We can pretty easily tell what the real intention or emotion behind something is. Perhaps it’s because of mirror neurons? Like I said, I haven’t read it, I’m just intrigued.

But my own experience is that we humans pick up on the energy that people are coming from quite easily.

So for this reason - and for your own well-being - it’s beneficial to pay more attention to who and how you’re being rather than what you’re doing.

We humans tend to forget that we’re human BEINGS and not human DOINGS, and focus way too much on the doing and way too little on the being.

I think there’s tremendous benefit to focusing much more on the being, including the energy of that being, and a lot less on the doing.

If you get the being right, the doing tends to take care of itself.