Meditation shouldn't be a struggle
In the first weekend of January I went to a silent retreat and meditation course.
The silent part meant that from around 9 pm on Friday night until around 3 pm Sunday, there was no talking, no reading, no music, video, audio, no telephone, no nothing. Just silence. That was really cool. I found the thought of it a bit frightening ahead of time, but once there, I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.
The meditation course part of it … not so much. It involved sitting in the diamond pose for 45 minutes at a stretch without moving, while the teachers would talk us trough moving our attention around our bodies very slowly, starting at the top of the head, all the way through all limbs, and back to the top. Quiet your mind. Ignore the pain in your legs, after 30 minutes, it will subside. 15 minutes break, then back and sit for another 45. Boy, was that stressful. I wanted to scream “shut up, I’m trying to meditate here”. It was so far from what I understand meditation to be.
Meditation shouldn’t be a struggle. It should be effortless. Meditation is your natural state when you pay attention to your direct sensations.
I meditate 2-3 times every day. I just lie down on the floor, feel my entire body from the inside, pay attention to my breath, and it’s a wonderful feeling. What’s better than that? I used to get bored if I was waiting somewhere without anything to read. Now I just feel my body from the inside, and I’m plenty entertained. Reading something would be an annoying distraction. Meditating quiets my mind, so I can sense my intuition.
If meditation for you is a technique, something you’re trying to master and get better at, try letting go of all that and just be. It’s not a contest, there’s no end goal. It just is, and you can be that right now.