Living from the heart

I’m reading (in) a book about children and divorce (for obvious reasons), and what strikes me is how mentally focused the book is. It’s all skull brain, no heart brain, no gut brain.

Listen to this:

Keep in mind that how you talk with your children is at least as important as what you say. Watch your body language, your tone of voice, and particularly what you are doing and communicating when you are not speaking; for instance, when your ex has the floor if you tell them together or your child asks a question or responds emotionally.

Do you really think you can control your body language and fool your child? If you have resentment towards your ex, they’re going to pick that up. If you’re unresolved about the divorce (which is natural and likely), they’re going to pick that up.

I can’t imagine how complicated it must be to live life that way, always trying to control everything by rational thought. It’s so much easier and more free to live from your heart.

Living from your heart doesn’t mean being controlled by your emotions. The opposite. It means being aware of your emotions, precisely so they don’t have power over you. If it’s unconscious, you can bet it’s controlling you. By making it conscious, you’re setting yourself free again.

Living from your heart means using all your resources to sense what’s needed in this moment. Do you need to be quiet? To consciously open your heart? To show your pain? To feel their pain? To explain things in really simple terms?

It’s a completely different way to live. When you live this way, you don’t need to control. Rather, you need to expose. To have the courage to be vulnerable and honest. That doesn’t mean burdening your kids with your stuff, of course not. That’s your responsibility. And it doesn’t mean sharing things inappropriate for your kids to hear. 

It does mean relying on your own inner knowing rather than books and outside counsel.

And that, my friends, is important in any aspect of life, including business.