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Your calling is where joy and terror meets

Kovalam, India February 2007I’ve just finished reading Sharif Abdullah’s execellent Creating a World That Works for All, and this paragraph in particular called out at me:



Someone said that our “calling” is the place where our deepest joy intersects with the deepest needs of the Earth. I add a further definition: our calling is the place where our inner joy and our inner terror meet. Our calling is our place of both joy and sacrifice. Waht risk are the Earth and her families asking of us? I love speaking to groups, but I also experience a moment of terror every time I do so. WHere is your terror? There lies the direction of your compassion. (p167)


Kovalam, India February 2007Two things about it. First, it reminded me, once again, that life is not supposed to be without terror and other negative emotions all the time. The goal is not for pain to go away, but to let it be, without resisting, so it can flow through us like a river and make room for the next experience. I seem to keep forgetting this simple point.



Second, I recognize this exact feeling from my coaching sessions. I love doing coaching. I love getting so close to another person, I love that space that we create together. But I also feel that moment of terror. Every time. Which is odd, because people tell me I seem so natural, not afraid of anything that might come up. But the truth is that for a moment, I’m terrified. I just try to let that be and not react on it.



What about you? Where does joy and terror meet for you?

4 comments

Adrian (yes, "that" Adrian)
 

Re: "Creating A World That Works For All" ... yes, why not? The old Rooks have been done away with, the new ones are in place to herald the shift from aggressive aquisition of resources to visionary application of resources for the ever-increasing good of all; the Bishops have been discredited as myopic, power-hungry and self-serving, the Knights are stuck fighting imaginary demons in ancient Babylon ... soon the Idiot King's reign will come to an end and the pawns on both sides of the board will realize that they have more in common in strategic position than their differences in outward appearances and will be ready to overthrow their respective Scarlet Queens and come together in the center of their level of reality. All that remains is a common vision, a plan to realize the vision, and a system to apply themselves through to make the plan a part of their daily reality. *Sigh* If only "someone" could figure out how to make such a vision a practical reality ... a highly profitable practical reality ... *sigh* ...
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Elise Somers
 

I thank you for this inspiring article of yours, on our “mission”. It made me reflect on my present greatest expectations of joys and fears (in this particular instance: anticipations of gaining new activities, relations, ways of being and doing, and the joy of sharing information, appreciating ourselves more and collaborating better with each other) .The more specific mission of my entreprise is to help us all appreciate more our negative emotions. Lars, I believe the goal of negative emotions is to get us to pay attention. The pain, is there not only to flow through us, but to get us to pay attention and chose to take action of our life’s choices and priorities. I believe negative emotions contain essential information to be brought forward into our consciousness. As a coach, and fellow humanitarian my mission is to remind us all of appreciating our negative emotions. To love more specially: our anger, fears , sorrow and guilt. I tend to see these as gages, which inform us of changes, changes within ourselves and the environment. To identify my mission, a few years back I asked myself this very important question: Where is it that I can be of most help? The answer was: in developing and distributing a software to help us appreciate ourselves more and better collaborate with each other. A software specifically addressing the management of our negative emotions . Will keep on reading your blog. You are a true inspiration for me. Lars, at the moment, which competence , is the next one for you to put in place in your life, in order to face your missions next most rewarding fear? and more importantly, who will you ask to help you in doing so? All the best, Elise Somers Engineer, professional coach, software developer http://www.emotionsautravail.com http://intercoaching.blogspot.com
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Lars Pind
 

Hi Elise, that's a good question. I don't know the answer. I've got coaching down pretty good, lots of room to grow, but I'm confident in that. I think it might be public speaking. Who will I ask for help? Even better question. Let me ask that of Life. What's the software you've built? Is it emotionsautravail.com (emotions at work)? I'm not familiar enough with French to really appreciate it. Anything in English? How is it going with it? Thanks for the kind words.
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Elise Somers
 

Yes, Lars, Then public speaking it is. Public speaking is what you are at present very much drawn to, ... an objective so vital it makes your guts and other organs sing and zing and flicker in anticipation of fear and joy. The planet is calling you strongly on that one. Just for fun sakes , I wish to share with you the coaching exercise that got me to write to you ( I wrote about this article of yours in my coaching blog (http://intercoaching.blogspot.com/) took the liberty to place your picture in ). The exercise is called “inversion exercise” . Here is how it goes. You take one of your objectives, big or small. I chose mine to be :“to comment a colleagues blog before next week” lets say your’s is (I’m choosing for you a bigger one here) : “my objective is to engage myself in “1 “ public speaking activity before months end” you know the type of measurable objective,... OK once you have chosen an objective, you invert this objective: your objective would then be:“ to make absolutely sure not to engage in “1” public speaking event before months end” and then you list all the actions that are needed to do so. What would these actions be? ( yep, here you take time to list!) You then invert to put in place a true action plan. It’s actually a pretty cool coaching exercise, makes people smile, and focus in a different way,...about attaining and defining their objectives,...Let me know if major fun arises from this one! An English version “emotions at work” will be available in the next few months (hopefully by April 2008). Getting more people aware of this software/approach challenges me greatly every day. When I was developing the activity I had no doubts, I was in a state of grace. I worked real hard, and experienced many challenges with juggling to and from the abstract world of imagination desire and conviction to the tangible world of programming (2 years from first thought to operational reality). I was truly protected then, from my own judgment of others. In this stage: the stage of voicing out the existence of such an approach/ software - it’s a completely different ballgame! “Negative emotions” is not the coolest or hottest topic in cocktail or business parties. I am still working on how to channel my “passion”. Yes I am still learning and questioning the world about the place I need to take, and what it is I need to do next ,... Writing these few words to you, makes me think I should’nt rain in too much this passion of mine, in fact it makes me sad to feel I need to do so , just so I don’t rock others peoples plans too much, O-O, seems I have some (well overdue) voicing out to do of my own! Where will this be? My next “who? ”destination: Human Ressources Executives of Bigger Corporations. What is it that You totally need to public speak about? (if your answer is: let me ask that of Life. My next question to you is "where" and "who?" are these people in the "Life" you question,...) Here is an address from Randy Pausch ( a young professor that knows he is dying , has only a few weeks or months left) I believe it is called “the last lecture: What wisdom would you give to to your pears if you had this one last opportunity to do so” ( see my September 26th,2007 posting in my coaching blog ) Best regards on this inspiring Saturday morning Thanks for answering, asking and caring! All the best Elise.
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