What Kind of Coaching Do I Do?

by Calvin on July 28, 2015

Someone asked me the other day what kind of coaching I do. It’s a great question.

I do alignment coaching. I do “being” coaching.

I don’t work with people who are new to personal development. I don’t work with people who are not ready to take responsibility for their lives.

I don’t do marketing coaching. I don’t do traditional business coaching. I don’t do “here’s a proven formula to achieve this” coaching.

I do work with people who are ready to learn the truth about themselves. Who are ready to go deep and look at themselves. Who are ready to let go of the old habitual patterns that are no longer serving and move into something much more free and natural and flowing and fulfilling.

I’m constantly listening for what’s underneath everything that’s going on, what’s really blocking the natural flow of life here. Is it something you’re not willing to admit. Is it some block in your body somewhere. Is it some belief that’s in the way? Is it some fundamental misunderstanding about how life or spirit works? Is it some old emotional pain that’s been suppressed? What is really going on here? And what needs to happen in order for it to be released, so you can be free and alive and you.

I’ll also say that if you’ll need money to invest besides just my fee, because I’m probably going to be asking you to do other things that are going to help you, which cost money, and which I myself isn’t the best to do. If I can see that what needs to happen with you is something with your body, or I think that someone that I know and trust might help you with this piece, I’m going to ask you to do that. I’m not here just to spin the wheels talking to you week after week. I’m here to see you taking radical step in your life into becoming who you really are.

I can also guarantee you this: The day you feel like you’re done with me and you’d be better served working with someone else, or not working with anyone for a while, I’m not going to make you wrong for that, and I’m not going to just cut you off. To me, that’s just how it works. You learn different things from different people in different periods in your life, and you’re free to always move about.

You never want to turn any one person into your guru. You are your guru. No-one has a monopoly on the truth. Only you know your truth, and that’s what you ultimately need to learn to trust and listen to. That’s what I want for you.

I hope this clarifies a bit.



Are You Punishing Yourself?

by Calvin on July 27, 2015

If you feel like you’ve done something wrong, then your natural reaction will be to want to punish ourselves.

Maybe you put out some work that was below standard, and you’re still beating yourself up over it.

Or you spent too much money one month, and now you are punishing yourself for it.

Or you made a bad judgment call, and you feel the urge to punish yourself.

A lot of us seem to believe (unconsciously) that things will get better if only we’re hard enough on ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but it hasn’t worked all that well for me. Is it working for you?

I remember the moment I realized that I was using my creativity to come up with things I’d done wrong so I could punish myself. It’s a crazy addiction. I was walking down the corridor of the Mariott Marquis hotel in San Francisco, on my way to my room, during the Wisdom 2.0 conference of 2014.

I suddenly just saw it. Saw how incredibly counterproductive and meaningless it is to waste my perfectly good and powerful creative faculties on coming up with fictitious crimes committed by myself, so I could punish myself.

What a waste.

Don’t let that happen to you.

Instead choose to see nothing that you’ve ever done or will ever do as “wrong”. Sure, there may be things that you’d like to not repeat. To do differently. Make another choice the next time. But abstain from labeling it as wrong. Why not just decide that it was right.

One of my favorite stories, and I’m going to totally mutilate it right now, is the story of the old Chinese man who’s given a horse. His neighbors say “oh, you’re so lucky”. He shrugs and says “maybe”.

Then his son breaks his leg riding the horse and the neighbors say “oh, poor you”. The old man shrugs and says “maybe”.

Later on there’s a war and all young men are drafted. But because he broke his leg, the son gets to stay home. The old man’s neighbors say “oh, you’re so lucky”. The old man shrugs and says “maybe”.

It may go on like that for a while. I don’t remember. This is all I know of the story.

The point is: You can never know if something’s truly good or bad, so why not just defer judgment, or pretend it’s good, since we’ll feel better that way. And when we feel better, we do better.

So next time you feel compelled to label something wrong and punish yourself for it, stop, and think of this story, and just choose not to.


PS. Don’t forget the webinar tomorrow at 3pm US eastern time. Sign up for the newsletter on the get the details.

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