When people ask why you feel blue, if you pile up enough of these experiences you realize there is no reason. It’s not about reason. Feelings come from somewhere else.
So then the big question — what does it all mean? Why are we here. What’s after death. And fear of all that. It’s always waiting for you when your mind pauses. So you try not to pause! But eventually you do have to stop.
I suspect our ancestors weren’t as afraid of death as we are, though. I think it’s related to our not being willing to feel our feelings. We have to rationalize them or drug them away with overwork, alcohol, romance, etc.
All fear is ultimately fear of death, and we live in a society that’s obsessed with fear, in large part thanks to the media who profit from making us fearful, and from the level of stress, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, lack of fresh air, exercise, time in nature, and all of the other things that combat fear.
It’s like there are two radio stations you can tune into: Channel fear or channel love. But when we’re running on empty, like we are, channel love is simply drowned out.
I’m pretty sure our ancestors did a much better job staying in touch with nature, including their own.