From the excellent book Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping:
When we feel disconnected from someone, we cannot love them. When we judge a person (or ourselves) and make them wrong, we withhold love. Even when we make them right, we are withholding love, because we make our love conditional upon their rightness continuing.
Self-judgment is at the root of all our problems, and even when we have removed judgment from others and forgiven them, we continue to judge ourselves. We even judge ourselves for judging ourselves!
Reading this book changed my life.