Failing by succeeding
God. It’s so lame when I write it down. Actually, it’s been lame for months, every time I even think it. I can’t believe I have that kind of lack of follow-through. I don’t want to think that about myself. It’s a travesty. A terrible embarrassment. Something that makes me question my self-worth. If I can’t take something that’s so obviously working, and milk it for all it’s worth, then what kind of human am I, anyway? I think I suck at capitalism. Maybe that’s it.
You know the truth? I don’t know. I just don’t know. I am a completely irrational human being, and I hate it, but deep inside me there’s a voice that just says, “No. Get the hell out. If you continue doing this, you will die.”
What is success anyway? I don’t think there’s any way around having to figure out what your definition of success is going to be. You don’t want to just take whatever your parents or your teachers or the media handed to you. That stuff is going to drive you nuts.